3 steps on how to build self worth

Wondering how you can build self worth? You and me both sis. I have been working on building my self worth and feeling "good enough" for the past couple years. AND I AM STILL WORKING ON IT. What I will tell you though is the "self worth work" is well worth it... no pun intended. So, let's jump into the little silly quirky ~tings~ I have learned to help build my self worth and self esteem.

What is self worth?

Self worth is knowing you are enough, you deserve love, and you deserve belonging. Self worth is in direct correlation with self esteem, but they are different.

So, what is self esteem?

Self esteem is having respect for yourself. To me, self worth is an inner knowing. An unshakeable truth from within that you are enough and always have been. On the other hand, self esteem is based on actions. In order to respect yourself and prove out self respect, your actions have to validate that fact.

Why is my self worth "low"?

Your self worth and self esteem are low because you are choosing that. You may not be consciously aware of this fact, but the truth is you are. Since self worth is based on an inner knowing and self esteem is based on actions we have to start analyzing our thoughts, actions, and feelings.

So, how do we notice the choices that are negatively impacting how we perceive our worth?

Well, first off it would be good to analyze who is in your close group of friends, family, and significant other (or who you are dating if you have multiple S/O's). This is important because are they verbally pouring into you or degrading you? Are they making you feel like you are enough? Or are they making you feel like trash? Not only there words, but what about their actions? Are they showing you they love and care about you? Are they able to support and comfort you? Or are they never there when you need them?

Not only is it a good idea to analyze the people within your circle, but also yourself.

• Are you thinking positive thoughts about yourself?

• When you are with your friends are you communicating positively about yourself and your life? Or are you constantly degrading yourself?

• Are you constantly talking about how your life sucks because of the choices YOU ARE MAKING?

Yes, some things do happen to us that are completely out of our control and suck A LOT (trust, IYKYK lol), but also on the other side of things some of the reason you hate yourself, don't feel good enough, and constantly feel terrible is because of the choices you are making.

3 steps to improve your self worth

So, how do we improve our self worth? How do we build our self worth and become the best version of ourselves? Well, it all starts with you. It starts with your choices. It starts with your thoughts, feelings, actions, how you take accountability for your life, and how you decide to move different. "Once you know better, do better" used to be a screensaver of mine. No, I didn't always "do better" LMAO. I often times choose what I want versus what is ACTUALLY best for me.

Guess what? My self worth TANKED. It was negatively impacted time and time again when I chose to disrespect myself through the actions I was taking. So, let's chat about how to improve OUR WORTH.

1. Talk, think, and act ~better~

If you think you are born with a self worth or a self esteem issue, you are wrong. This is something that you most likely are unconsciously choosing. Or you picked it up from someone in your life, but it is time to unravel that story you have been telling yourself.

So, where do you start? Well, you start by analyzing yourself. The next time you spend time with someone you love or care about, reflect on the conversation. Reflect on what you said. Reflect on what your friend said. Realize it all starts with you. You have no control of your friend and what they say/do, but you do have control over your thoughts, actions, and words.

Self worth affirmations

• I am enough

• I love who I am

• I am worth it

• I am accountable for my actions

• I respect myself

• I have high self worth

• I have high self esteem

• I have high self respect

• The people in my life encourage me

• The people in my life love me for me

• The people in my life know my value

• The people in my life love to show me they love me

• The people in my life respect me

2. Give yourself grace

When it comes to choosing you, taking care of you, and building your self worth, it is important to give yourself grace. This is NOT an overnight success. This is NOT something that happens in a week. It takes time to change your mindset, retrain your subconscious mind, and create new neural pathways. That said, each day you have the opportunity to choose to help yourself, build your self worth, and view YOU in a positive way.

Or you can choose to go on the path you have always gone on. You can go back and forth between the two until you figure out what you truly want. The great thing about life is the freedom of choice. If you want to work on your self worth, YOU CAN. If you don't or aren't quite ready to take that step, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. I am not here to convince you one way or the other. I am here to provide a tool you can use. But, it's your choice. Either way, give yourself grace and remember we are ALL imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world.

3. Find an accountability partner

Accountability is everything when starting something new. Whether it be starting to workout, eat healthy, or build self worth. If you can lean on someone in your life to check in with that will help IMMENSELY.

If you don't have someone in your life, no problem. Start WRITING. Journal about your experiences and write down the date so you can keep track of your progress. If you want to make a change in your life, you can. If you want an accountability partner, you can find one. If you would rather keep this to yourself, you can journal about it if you want. If you don't want to build your self esteem and self worth, you can choose that too. Regardless, I hope you keep choosing you, because you are worth it, you do deserve it, and I want you to KNOW THAT.

You are worth it.

I don't care what you think. What you have been told. How people have treated you. None of it. What I do care about is YOU. I care about how you VIEW YOURSELF. I care about how you TREAT YOURSELF. I care about how you SEE YOUR SELF WORTH.

• You are beyond worth it.

• You deserve it.

• You deserve people who love you.

• You deserve to have individuals who encourage you.

• You deserve to have a community that supports you.

• You deserve to talk to yourself nicely.

You are beyond worth it... it is time you start choosing to see it that way.

Stay blessed. Stay worthy. and ALWAYS SLAY my queeeeeen.

xoxo,

Life Coach Han

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Psalm 139:14